Operation: Michelle On Ice

It's Week Two of rehab and I'm jonesin' to get Michelle on Ice.

During the first week I can quite honestly say I didn't miss skating that much. My ankle-knee-hip-spine hurt so bad the thought of skating was almost as pleasant as physical therapy. However, what's amazing about the human body is how quickly it can heal. I'm already seeing some results and, in fact, have had moments that have been truly pain-free. And my friends are texting, "Are you skating today?" I don't know if I actually miss skating or if I just want to do it because I've been told I'm not allowed. 

"No ice skating," Lydia snaps. Lydia needs more vodka.

I never understood why someone who had a fixable injury wouldn't take steps to fix it. Because it hurts! That's why. Here's what I'm going through in an effort to get back to normal physical activity:

• I have hands-on physical therapy twice a week. To the casual observer it looks like I'm getting a foot massage. In reality, Lydia the Terrible Therapist is manually pushing my ankle bones into place. Pushing. My. Bones. 

• I have stretching and strengthening sessions twice a day. I've cried, become dizzy and nauseous, and even crawled into bed once after a session because I was in so much pain. 

Following a recent session, I was icing my ankle and reading this post about storing skates during a hiatus. Take care of any maintenance, don't store them in a skate bag and don't hide them, Xan advises. I promptly retrieved my skates from my skate bag, which was hiding in my closet.

Just five more weeks to go...

[Editor's comment: Yes, that's me in the picture.]

The M-Word

I'm a firm believer that youth sports teaches a lot more than just athletics. And sometimes when you see those lessons learned, it's amazing.

"It's about effort. And the m-word," the Kid told me from the backseat. While he searched his memory for the m-word, I silently worked through my talking points on inappropriate language and hoped I could deliver them without sounding too hypocritical. 

"Motor-vation!" he exclaimed. 

What started this conversation? As the Kid was getting off the ice after power skating, one of the hockey dads/coaches had said to him, "Kid, you need to try out for Select team next season." 

The Kid tried out for Select team this past season and (deservedly) didn't make it. He was disappointed, but not discouraged. We had a very positive conversation about what he needed to improve on - skating, hockey skills, listening to the coach. He then made me sign him up for power skating and spring league and every summer camp I could (without making him obtain gainful employment.) 

"I want to be on Select team, that's my motor-vation. And doing power skating and focusing* and playing more hockey is my effort."

Good game, little mite.


*Note to the Kid's hockey coaches: It may be hard to see, but the Kid really is focusing better.

All Pain, No Gain

Just when Coach Needs-More-Vodka and his wife start being nice to me (they both smiled at me...as much as cranky Russian figure skating coaches can smile) this happens...

"You've been skating on this ankle?! That's the worst possible thing you can do!" My new physical therapist was horrified.

"Is it fixable?" I asked.

"Yes, but it's going to take a long time and it's going to be very painful."

For the past three years I've been doing "the worst possible thing you can do." And now I'm paying for it. My left ankle doesn't bend. (Pro tip: if you can't bend your ankle, you can't ice skate.) Oh, but I've been trying. Every time I thought I was bending my ankle, I wasn't. My entire left leg, hip and spine were compensating to try to get me into a position my ankle is incapable of achieving.

Since the Caps are out of the playoffs and the Kid's spring hockey season is wrapping up, I'll have plenty of time for rehab. Lydia, the torturer physical therapist, is evil and makes me cry. She thinks adult figure skating is weird.

It looks like I'll be off the ice for 4-6 weeks. Dmytri assures me he'll take me back when I can start skating again. Since I'll lose all kinds of muscle memory and my body will be aligned differently, I fear I'll be going way back to the beginning once I do get back on the ice. Bye-bye Dutch Waltz. Bye-bye Rhythm Blues. I hope Dmytri remembers how to teach forward marching.

Head Games

I've hit a figure skating plateau. I've been skating a lot lately, as much as twice a week, and still I'm not seeing any improvement from lesson to lesson. My shoulder is still back too far doing crossovers. I'm completely off time and out of alignment on swing rolls. I'm not skating on anything remotely resembling an edge. And this is only a partial list of everything I'm doing wrong these days.

Long-suffering Dmytri is patiently working me through it all. Everything he's saying and doing makes perfect sense. Every etching he makes with his skate blade, every explanation of angles, every skill demonstration...it's all so clear. Until I try it. 'I understand in my head, I just can't get my body to do it' I explain, because I want him to know I really am paying attention to what he's teaching.

"So I need to pull my hip back," I said more to myself to than to Dmytri as we worked on outside edges.

"NO! Remember the look I gave you when you said you were on your heel? Same thing. Don't ever talk about moving something backward when you're skating forward."

So step-behinds are an illusion? I was going to ask, but the urgency in Dmytri's voice suggested I already was freaking him out. No need to poke the Ukrainian bear.

Recognizing a hopeless situation, we moved on to inside edges.

"You decided to fell then?" Dmytri laughed after he caught me.

"Yeah," I deadpanned. "I thought about it and decided 'now would be a really great time to fell.'"

Where has my skating mojo has gone? I'm only a little frustrated. I've been through this before and eventually something clicks and I start making progress again. But if anyone has any ideas for how I can get skating out of my head and into my skates, please tell me!

Trash Talking

Warning: the language in this post gets a little...er...colorful.

We were in the locker room getting the Kid ready for power skating. In the locker room next to us was a group of boys clearly getting used to their new testosterone levels. Mostly we couldn't tell what they were saying until one of them shouted, "What the fuck?!"

I chose to ignore it and focus the Kid's attention on his elbow pads. Another mom, braver than I, chose to use it as a teachable moment and started talking to her son about not using bad words. Poor mom. Her mite was full of questions, "What bad word? Who said a bad word? What does it mean? Are there other bad words?" At which point I'm sure mom was thinking, "What the fuck?"

In hockey, one encounters swearing. Because the Kid has attended Caps games since he was little, he's been exposed to some doozies, including one time when someone shouted, "Get off your knees, ref, you're blowing the game!" I played dumb and said I didn't know what he meant. Yep, I'm a coward. So far, my hockey mite hasn't shown a proclivity for swearing.

He has, however shown a proclivity for trash talking me. "Mum-mum, you can't do power skating because you're not a good enough skater."

And that's why I watched closely as he and his hockey buddies spent an hour doing skating drills so I could assess my ability to do what they were doing:

• Skating the length of the ice full-speed - check
• Scooter pushes - check
• Skating on one foot - check
• Skating backward between the bluelines - check (no extension required)
• Skating between the bluelines in a very low squat position on outside edges - check, minus the low squat and outside edges.
• Skating full-speed with hockey stops at the face-off dots - check, minus the stops

Hmmmmm...

As we were leaving the rink one of those great open-the-sun-roof-and-blast-the-radio-songs came on. The Kid was momentarily horrified that I'd turned the music up so loud with the windows down, until he realized he was surrounded by mini-vans and SUVs all crankin' the same tune...

Sorry, We're Closed

I have a figure skating fantasy - to have a skating lesson when the ice is all mine. Imagine twirling around without dodging cones or weaving through traffic. No reckless hockey players to run me down. No figure skaters deciding that public ice is the perfect place to work on a Double Something-or-Other. No one judging my piss-poor attempts to do things Dmytri demonstrates beautifully. Ooooh...I'd make Dmytri do tricks. I'd make him twizzle and skate fast. I'd make him teach me that cool shuffle-step thing that the ice dancer kids do.

I had the ice all to myself for a brief time earlier this week. It was awesome. Don't get me wrong, I love the other folks at the rink. The adults are great skating companions and the kids bring a ton of energy. But I'm willing to bet I'm not the only who's fantasized about having the ice to myself.

I think the next time I have a lesson, I'm going to stealthily put a sign on the rink door: Sorry, we're closed.

It's only for 30 minutes.

Loving Losing

The Kid's break from hockey was awfully short. He's back at it in the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association's Spring League. They lost their first game 12-5. Came up against a hot goaltender, what can ya do? But the Kid had a great game -- owned the face-off circle, had some impressive defensive plays and scored a goal. But he did pass the puck to an opposing player right in front of the net, resulting in a goal for the other team. Coach will work him hard in practice for that botched play.

Actually, there are no practices.

I almost didn't sign the Kid up for Spring League. He also wants to play baseball and I wasn't sure we'd be able to reconcile scheduling conflicts. Then I learned Spring League is very casual. Lots of players end up missing games because of baseball or lacrosse or soccer. They just play with the kids they have. In fact, some players have been known to camp out at the Rockville Ice Arena and play all day on teams that are missing players.

Spring League also is different in that they play full-ice games, with officials and the score on the scoreboard. In the House Mite regular season, they play half-ice games to give the kids more stick-handling opportunities. I think half-ice games make sense for teaching the young kids hockey skills.

They also bore the bejeezus out of me.

Spring League definitely provides more of a sense of "team." (No more sharing locker rooms with opposing teams.) And the full-ice games help the players better understand important concepts of hockey, like say, icing and off-sides. The kids had a ton of fun playing and the parents had a ton of fun watching. Well, at least this parent did.

And we were in Rink One! This means sitting on real seats and being able to watch the game from the lobby or the upstairs lounge if you need to warm up a bit. Hear that, Rink Three?

After the Kid's game we met up with friends to eat bar food and watch the Caps beat the Bruins in double OT. As we were getting in the car the Kid said wistfully, "I love this day."

Me too, Little Mite

Края

I groaned.

"I know," Dmytri said gently. "I'm asking you to do a lot." 

And he was. Inside edge. Outside edge. Bend deeper. Stand up straight. Don't lean forward. Don't lean back. Shoulders like this. Hips like that. OH NO!! NOT ON YOUR HEEL!

He's demanding. I'm exhausted. This is a good lesson. This is learning to skate.

A couple of years ago I was butchering backward crossovers in ways previously unseen in the world of figure skating. I had an instructor who would tell my class what to do (once) and then just watch. I would ask questions and the response was always, "You just need to practice."

Practice what?! Dmytri has a million different ways to explain things and he never runs out of words. He makes sure I always have plenty to practice. 

"I just did a good swingroll and you missed it!" I said, pouting. 

"I don't miss anything," he assured me. "I do...what is it they say...'expect the best, prepare for the worst.' Is that the right English?"

"Yep, perfect. How would you say it in Russian?"

Silence.

"Russian is supposed to be your easy language," I teased.

"I know!" he laughed, as surprised as I was that words of any kind were escaping him. We did Rhythm Blues, as if to change the subject.

"It's always about the edges," he said slowly, deliberately, as if he were carving these words into my brain. "No matter what you are doing - crossover, swingroll, everything you do - it's always about the edges."

I stayed to practice. Dmytri left. But his voice was in my head the whole time. I focused on my edges.

***********

NOTE: According to Google translator, the title of this post is "Edges." Can someone who reads Russian, confirm? I'd ask Dmytri, but his Russian sucks.

My Colonial Skating

Aaand...we're done!

As the Kid got off the school bus I said to him excitedly, "Kid! Tomorrow is your last hockey practice for the season and parents are allowed to scrimmage with you. I get to play hockey with you!"

He nodded thoughtfully.

After we got home and settled in with our after school snack of graham crackers and Nutella, the Kid looked at me concerned and said, "Mum-mum, I don't think you should play tomorrow. You might get hurt. You should practice at stick-and-puck first."

Translation: Don't embarrass me at hockey practice.

So I froze to death one last time at an early morning practice while mites and other parents had fun on the ice. The players got their participation trophies and the Kid said solemnly, "I wish Mimi and D-Dad had been here for this moment." (And I texted the grandparents...)

The Kid had a lot of fun during his first season with the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association. So much fun, in fact, he's asked me to sign him up for several skating clinics, camps and leagues throughout the spring and summer. (Spending all summer in ice rinks may sound crazy now, but check back with me when it's 109 degrees and humid in August. You'll be jealous.)

The players pealed off their equipment and chattered excitedly about the different spring hockey options. They've decided Spring League will be their "playoffs." Hear that Caps? The MYHA mites are going to the playoffs.